Log in

No account? Create an account
Percocet Jimmies
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Percocet Jimmies' LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Sunday, February 5th, 2006
3:39 am
It appears that Jerri Blank's comment about sacrificing coconuts to the monkey gods wasn't all that stereotypical. Take a look at this Hindu ritual after the link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/4677320.stm
Thursday, March 17th, 2005
2:34 am
I like the pole and the hole, and right now I'm as moist as a snack cake down there
title or description

So eh, why don't you just, eh, swing on by my place after school Paul... and I'll make your pinky aaaaaaaaaaaaall stinky
Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
11:17 pm
I finally got the Long Trip Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, December 15th, 2004
11:21 pm
too bad he's ugly


How would you describe your design philosophy or point of view?
I am a creative person. I chose fashion as my avenue to express it.

What would someone close to you describe as your best and worst traits?
Best = humor / realistic / inspiring. Worst = judgmental / obnoxious.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
I was strip searched at the London-Heathrow airport because I had an especially unusual magazine.

What is an odd fact or talent you possess?
I can twirl batons.

Who are the designers you admire most?
Walter van Beirendonck, Jun Takahashi (Undercover), Comme Des Garcons, Stella McCartney, Alexander McQueen.

What are your favorite fashion magazines?
I-D, Nylon, Surface and Vice.

What are your favorite TV shows?
Strangers with Candy, The Real World/Road Rules Challenge, The $100,000 Pyramid, Extreme Makeover, Howard Stern, American Idol, Punk'd, Boiling Point, COPS and Jenny Jones.

What are your favorite movies?
Run Lola Run, Buffalo 66, Requiem for a Dream, Weird Science, 16 Candles and Truth or Dare.

If you could design an outfit for any living person, who would be your dream client and why?
I would have to say Amy Sedaris because she is f--king funny. I don't care about that red carpet Hollywood bulls--t. I want to see my clothes being worn with some humor. I know she would know how to properly accessorize... like with a stuffed chicken or a mouth guard or a cane.

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
8:29 am

Me:                  “Bartender, I'll have a vodka-cran.  And my friend here will have the girliest drink in the bar!”

Bartender:        “Two vodka-crans, comin up!”

Current Mood: needing to get soused.
Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
8:11 pm
It's gonna numb it. Which can really come in handy. I remember once I was doin this donkey show in Tijuana...

Current Mood: dorky
Tuesday, October 12th, 2004
5:23 pm
Again, I must post this
Leave the Baby With Daddy

Because I am a loser and laughing about this scene is cracking me up so bad I can't sleep, I'm going to transcribe it for you here. Now. Tami Littlenut is a redheaded 15 year-old highschool freshman. Jerri Blank is a 46 year-old highschool freshman, ex-junkie whore. Imagine, if you will, a cafeteria. Jerri is wearing a greenish khaki jumpsuit with a belt that looks like ammo. She's sitting at a table when Tami shows up pushing a stroller with a 10 pound baby inside.

Tami: : Hi Jerri.
Jerri: : Hey there, Copperhead. Ah-what'ja bring the baby for, huh?
Tami: : What do you mean?
Jerri: : Thought you and I were having lunch today.
Tami: : What am I supposed to do with the baby?
Jerri: : I was hopin' on some Jerri time, you know what I'm sayin'?
Tami: : Not really. Listen, Jerri, can you take Diz for me? I've got gym next period.
Jerri: : Look. Simeon and I are hanging out next period, k? We're gonna play a little Liar's Poker.
Tami: : But I thought we were supposed to share the resp...
Jerri: : I don't wanna...I don't wanna fight...I don't wanna fight about this, all right? Subject...closed. All right?
Tami: : I'm gonna go get some milk for the baby.
Jerri: : What? I don't get thirsty? Huh? (grunts at baby)
(Tami comes back within a few seconds with a pint of milk)
Jerri: : Where were you?
Tami: : What?
Jerri: : I'll repeat the question. What took you so long?
Tami: : Uh...I was getting...
Jerri: : Don't...lie to me Tami. I saw you right over there talking to Jimmy Ducey.
Tami: : I just said hi.
Jerri: : Oh. Is that how they say, "Hi," in Whoreville?
Tami: : Jerri, I don't want to have lunch. I'm just going to take Diz and go for a walk.
Jerri: : (knocks milk off the table, spilling it all over the place) You're taking...my child...NOWHERE. Clean it up.
Tami: : What?
Jerri: : I said, "Clean it up."
Tami: : You are frightening the baby! (baby starts crying)
I'm sorry. Hmm? So...sorry. Huh? Lookit, my little lamb. (pats Tami's hair) Whatcha so frightened about, huh? I'd never hit you. I'd never hitcha, huh? I just got this temper, ya see. I just get so frustrated when you don't listen. Huh? You understand? Huh? I need you to say that you understand.
Tami: : I understand.
Jerri: All right. You just leave the baby with daddy and go get yourself fixed up, all right?
(Tami walks away and Jerri slaps her on the ass).
Women. (Yells at all the students staring at her) WHADDAYA LOOKIN AT?!
2:23 pm
Is this the new Long Trip Back I watched Oprah bc I was sick and I was just waiting for her to say "my friends were cons and 18 karet pimps"
Friday, September 10th, 2004
10:31 am

haha!  Not only do you get the pen and pad, but you get a liquid morphine vial too!!

Click to see...

Current Mood: amused
Monday, August 16th, 2004
11:32 am
Someone was mentioning to me that Broadway Grill has mojitos on special, some night or other (I think thursdays). I must check that out, for our Mojito Club Seattle Chapter meetings! Gettin a mojito cheap, dont make it less sweet!

Current Mood: optimistic
Monday, August 2nd, 2004
9:41 am
Rainbows of colors
I'm reading a complaint from a patient, where they're bitching about how the doctor prescribed Halcion to a kid to make it easier to do the dental procedure. Here's what the parents said:

"We spent a minimum of four hours trying to calm Ashley after the procedure and use of Halcion. Ashley cried and screamed with hallucinations of dragons chasing her, huge bugs, and rainbows of colors on the wall."

Wow!! I NEED to try some o' THAT!!
Thursday, July 29th, 2004
8:02 am
So when i mention that I am going to Canada, people feel obliged to remind me to pick up some 222's. WHAT is up with these? What are they? Are they worth buying and having??
Thursday, July 15th, 2004
8:33 am
Whaaa!!   Amy Sedaris is Gladys Kravitz in the Bewitched movie??  haha!!   (and I'm sure this has been talked about in someone's LJ already... and I being clueless just missed it!)
Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
12:15 pm
arg! is it REALLY only 12:15 on Tuesday?? How will I do this?? I know! Bar humor! makes the day go quicker!

Patron: “I’ll have an extra dry Tanqueray martini on the rocks with a twist and when I can’t say it any more, don’t bring me any more.”

(5 drinks later)
Patron: “I’ll have a Tanqully moonton wit wockers.”

Bartender: “You can’t say it, so you can’t have one.”

Patron: “Okay, I’ll have a scotch and soda.”
Friday, July 9th, 2004
11:12 am
DAMMIT! This is CHAOS, people!
Is anyone else who's on the Flatpoint High Yahoo group as anxious as I am to hear from Tony? I really hope he had a good time, and asked them all the questions I wrote. I want answers. NO!!! God dammit I DEMAND answers! Oh wait, no I don't.

I just want to hear some inside scoop from Tony.

Current Mood: jazzed
Tuesday, July 6th, 2004
10:52 am
Tony's a Lucky Son of a Bitch
Our very own friend Tony, webmaster of JerriBlank.com, will be filming his scene in the SWC movie on Thursday! Our friendly little Fag will be playing a teacher in the teacher's lounge, and will be "working" alongside Matthew Broderick. He will also be directed by Paul Dinello, whom I would like to caress. Those pillowy lips are ir-re-SIS-table! He'd yank it OFF!!! Hahahahahahahaha!!!1
Monday, July 5th, 2004
4:19 am
Stuff you need for the summer!

It's summer, so what better time to post a list of stuff that Amy Sedaris says everybody needs for the summer! Haha!

  • Xanax or Cobbler Root, to take the edge off
  • Homemade tanning lotion, made from baby oil and iodine
  • Urine collection cups, yoinked from the doctor's office
  • Giant cotton underpants
  • Dutch rolling papers
  • "Running With Scissors" by Augusten Burroughs
  • "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Seabold
  • CD: "Rabbit Songs" by HEM

I need to go to bed before it starts to get light out but the 8 hours of drinking I did today has me all wound up and wide awake. Mojitos ROCK!

Current Mood: awake
Saturday, July 3rd, 2004
9:56 pm
Subservient Chicken
FINALLY! There's a guy in a chicken suit who will do just what you tell him. I've been waiting my ENTIRE LIFE for this.

Seriously. Go here and be his master. You won't be sorry.
Friday, July 2nd, 2004
7:29 pm
Babies don't cost money; they make money. Especially those little white ones.

Current Mood: gonna get laid
5:55 am
Open Letter to Michael Moore
B is for Bush, I like Bush
U is for "U know what I mean."
S is for shave; this election's going to be a close one!
H is for hope you like Bush as much as me!

I've been singing this song all morning. As I don't have my computer with me, I don't have access to my Hoses n Stuff, and I don't have Jerri's little speech at the end of that song memorized. BUMMER! Does anyone know it? Something about crack cocaine, a white baby, and not being able to vote? Did I dream that part?

Current Mood: I want a leprechaun.
[ << Previous 20 ]
About LiveJournal.com