Jill (slapsomeone) wrote in p_jimmies,

Again, I must post this

Leave the Baby With Daddy

Because I am a loser and laughing about this scene is cracking me up so bad I can't sleep, I'm going to transcribe it for you here. Now. Tami Littlenut is a redheaded 15 year-old highschool freshman. Jerri Blank is a 46 year-old highschool freshman, ex-junkie whore. Imagine, if you will, a cafeteria. Jerri is wearing a greenish khaki jumpsuit with a belt that looks like ammo. She's sitting at a table when Tami shows up pushing a stroller with a 10 pound baby inside.

Tami: : Hi Jerri.
Jerri: : Hey there, Copperhead. Ah-what'ja bring the baby for, huh?
Tami: : What do you mean?
Jerri: : Thought you and I were having lunch today.
Tami: : What am I supposed to do with the baby?
Jerri: : I was hopin' on some Jerri time, you know what I'm sayin'?
Tami: : Not really. Listen, Jerri, can you take Diz for me? I've got gym next period.
Jerri: : Look. Simeon and I are hanging out next period, k? We're gonna play a little Liar's Poker.
Tami: : But I thought we were supposed to share the resp...
Jerri: : I don't wanna...I don't wanna fight...I don't wanna fight about this, all right? Subject...closed. All right?
Tami: : I'm gonna go get some milk for the baby.
Jerri: : What? I don't get thirsty? Huh? (grunts at baby)
(Tami comes back within a few seconds with a pint of milk)
Jerri: : Where were you?
Tami: : What?
Jerri: : I'll repeat the question. What took you so long?
Tami: : Uh...I was getting...
Jerri: : Don't...lie to me Tami. I saw you right over there talking to Jimmy Ducey.
Tami: : I just said hi.
Jerri: : Oh. Is that how they say, "Hi," in Whoreville?
Tami: : Jerri, I don't want to have lunch. I'm just going to take Diz and go for a walk.
Jerri: : (knocks milk off the table, spilling it all over the place) You're taking...my child...NOWHERE. Clean it up.
Tami: : What?
Jerri: : I said, "Clean it up."
Tami: : You are frightening the baby! (baby starts crying)
I'm sorry. Hmm? So...sorry. Huh? Lookit, my little lamb. (pats Tami's hair) Whatcha so frightened about, huh? I'd never hit you. I'd never hitcha, huh? I just got this temper, ya see. I just get so frustrated when you don't listen. Huh? You understand? Huh? I need you to say that you understand.
Tami: : I understand.
Jerri: All right. You just leave the baby with daddy and go get yourself fixed up, all right?
(Tami walks away and Jerri slaps her on the ass).
Women. (Yells at all the students staring at her) WHADDAYA LOOKIN AT?!
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